Eighties Writer: Part One

Southeast Missouri State University, College years August 1980 – May 1984… Majoring in English… believing I could write. Here is the first poem published in our campus literary magazine – Fall 1981 – Title: My Feelings

Feeling second hand
Pumping words to this paper
I find myself lost, not finding myself at all.
Tired of searching, I watch these blue (true blue)
Inked words trickle through this pen
Manufactured a billion at a time, unbelievable.
Touch these words for they have feelings;
Soft, but oh so confused.
Of life of happiness of death.
Not to worry, because I keep them in only two places,
Heart pushing them to mind, pen pushing (pumping) them to paper.
Is that four?
But truly no worry of yours (world).
For I will not burden you with My Feelings.
Only I deserve them, can use them best.
No one really knows them or will ever know them.
These feelings, second hand or not, are my own.

What shapes our feelings, what or who inspires our writing?

I was only 18 in 1980, when my father died (at the young age of 40). He fell from a crane at his job, just a few weeks before I was to leave for college. Hard to believe that was 40 years ago, and silvers of those feelings are still inside. But so is he. I am grateful to know that I am uniquely me because of, and in spite of the big and small moments of my life.

I will always Chase Dreams & Be The Magic!